A dirty little secret of 2020 is that I’ve binge-watched Gilmore Girls so many times that I may need an intervention. With that, I’ve came to the conclusion that I have a few things in common with Rori.
If you’re not familiar with the Gilmore Girls series, Rori is a ridiculously smart girl who attending a prestigious high school and was Harvard bound until she changed her mind to Yale. Ok, whatever.
While Rori’s grandparents and those before them had money, Rori was the product of a single mother who raised her on a modest salary and built her own life away from the comforts of “old money”. It was a choice she made.
Rori took this upbringing to heart and is choosing the working life with her own aspirations.
During her time at Yale, she starts dating a boy, Logan, that also comes from money and by comparison, way more pretentious than the Gilmore clan. Rori is attacked by the family because she is not worthy to eventually marry into the family. Like wow, they’ve barely started dating and they are already concerned that even though she’s a Gilmore, because she has her own plans, that doesn’t make her worthy. Nevermind she’s fending for herself and attending Yale. That’s not what makes a good wife accordingly to them.
How does that make me a Gilmore Girl?
In a 1:1 comparision, it doesn’t.
- I didn’t go to Yale.
- My parents were married
- My parents and a few previous generations did not come from money.
While we had what we needed, we were still middle class, probably on the lower end of the middle class but still, not rolling in the dough. We had what we needed, nothing more, nothing less.
By 1998, I had a job after school, a pretty good job. Into college in 1999-2003, I was actually working full time while attending college full time. I worked A LOT! I didn’t live with my parents. My parents did not pay my bills. I paid my bills. I was 100% self-sufficient.
2004-2007 and beyond were years of growth. I graduated from college. I got a better job. I went back to college and graduated. I got promoted at that job.
It was somewhere between 2003 and 2005 that I got involved with some friends who were much like the family that Rori was dating into. Logan’s father was a newspaper mogul. The family that I was involved with had their hands in a variety of local companies.
In the beginning, I was warned that they were how they were and to keep my guards up. Much like Logan warned Rori that his family could be unpleasant. At the first meeting of the family, Rori assumed because she was a Gilmore, she’d be fine. However, she walked into the “Lion’s Den” and was treated quite poorly, just as Logan had feared.
Rori was devastated and beat down emotionally that she wasn’t good enough and couldn’t understand what she did wrong to be judged so negatively. Unfortunately, immaturely set in and she lashed out in the form of stealing a yacht.
After time passed, she distanced herself from his family, stood up to the father, and carried herself with much respect without a care of what they thought of her.
I, however, heeded the warning of my friend but I did make the assumption that since I worked, lived on my own, and was a productive young adult, I’d be fine.
As relationships grew, I let down some of those walls and what I was warned about started coming true and coming out. Ultimately it was decided that since I didn’t come from money in the sense that my parents had a business, I only had an Associate’s Degree. I was only, at the time, a receptionist/customer service specialist (not retail), I wasn’t suitable to hang out with these people anymore and they ran my name and face into the ground.
I was devastated and like Rori, emotionally beat down and confused as to why I wasn’t good enough despite the fact that I was and had been working very hard to be where I was. Nothing was handed to me. Luckily, no crimes were committed, and eventually, I moved on with life. Granted, I’m still bitter about the situation, but still, there is no criminal record in my background.
I’m not perfect and I can see where I could be a problem to be around if I had plateaued with where I wanted to go with my life, made bad choices, struggled to pay bills for one reason or another, or had an off-putting problem with drugs or alcohol. However, I wasn’t. Again, I’m a 22-23-year-old person, living on my own, paid for my own school, paying my own bills, zero credit card debts, and growing as a young adult within the bounds of the law with a good set of morals and ethical upbringing. Go me.
I was dumped and treated like a hot piece of white trash. Looking back, there were many signs that my every move was judged, harshly.
Basically, they overlooked hard work, personal sacrifices and saw at face value for what could be in it for them and how does it look if a person with such a “poor person” past is hanging out with the likes of them.
Almost 20 years later, thinking about that situation still stings, obviously as I felt the urge to write this blog. However, I know that my personal story and struggles have made me a better person and I now know that those people are not my tribe and not the lifestyle of morals and ethics I would like to be associated with.